“i, vega!, love writing. im just getting started on this journey but im trying to go in with honesty. its a beautiful thing to me. its my art. so i write for you and i write for free because it’s my passion. its the satisfaction of an urge of the living. to leave the world more beautiful for having youwaking up naturally, saying nothing, with a ballroom of cascading thoughts snaring my mind. what’s left of a dreamy sleep state where belief becomes true and magic still holds power. i turn away from the wall and brush the pillow next to me. i find myself adrift, careening down the rivers of consciousness. lost in a sea of coffee stained memories. i don’t preoccupy myself so much with the movement of days. i abstain from such unfathomable mysteries. instead i spend my time entranced with the sureness of my feet, the frailty of my time. this is my reality. this is existence.” – Vega (RIP)
Grotesque & Tranquility: A Queer Nihilist’s Compilation of Poetry
From back cover:
“Vega is a southern born west coast anarcho-nihilist. Their identity is found in subtle notes throughout their prose. Being a constructed element of self, their identity has been constructed through a warped vision of what’s in front of you momentarily. Nothing written can capture that which is Vega, so nothing written will really do. If you knew them you would know. And that’s all there is. One might label them as disabled or a drug user. Another might label them as another construct to convey emotion. What resonates here is what matters. Leave the rest for someone else.”
Grotesque and Tranquility_A Queer Nihilists Compilation of Poetry pdf
I Am Not Broken: Anarcho-Nihilist Disability & Survival Against Industrial Society
From back cover:
“My job couldn’t kill me, it could only tear me down to place me on a path of healing, a path to helping others through their struggles as I was able to work through mine. The pain is not an easy companion but it’s a constant reminder to look after myself and to look after others. This world is a dark, isolating place but I serve as a reminder that we can make it through our darkest times, that a flickering flame may well be the spark that lights industry aflame. We are not weak, only prisoner of the illusion of weakness. If we refuse to crumble under the immense pressures of this world we may cast light into the shadows, bearing witness to transformation and casting aside despair.”
I Am Not Broken_Anarcho Nihilist Disability and Survival Against Industrial Society pdf
A Feral Life: One Last Nihilist Exposition
“Speaking of changes, lately I’ve begun imagining expressing my ideas and thoughts with more face to face interactions rather than through the medium of writing. I could surely do both, and have been for quite some time. But as I write this, I feel I have reached a point in my life where I am finding the activity of writing these texts as limiting as the very words themselves. It is fun and easy to do during the winter, or spontaneously during or after exciting experiences at riots, etc. But I think I am ready to shift my focus onto something else.
Over the years, I have made many accomplices and enemies with the circulation of my writing – these literary expressions of my thoughts, experiences, and ideas. And I am deeply moved by the kind things many of you have said – as well as the awful things too! Maybe I will pick up writing again if the desire overcomes my hesitation to open a computer and type in a coffee shop, or in a notepad under a bridge while waiting for a train, or during or after a riot – or even after an exhilarating heist! Maybe I will write again from within the confines of a prison cell – because really though, let’s be honest, how much damage to this industrial leviathan can one really do within the limitations of legality? How much freedom can one really reclaim without provoking those who benefit from enslavement? (But of course, I’ll do my best not to get caught!)
So to the readers of my writing, I bid you a literary farewell! If my writing has inspired you to think differently, it is only because you had the courage to read something unfamiliar to you in the first place. If any of my writing has encouraged you to live more freely, it was only because you possessed the power to reclaim your life and live on your own terms. On paper, I am Just an idea that you read aloud in your head with your own voice.”
Oblivion: Anarchy & the Collapse of Industrial Civilization
From back cover:
“Of course, regardless of how myself or anyone else feels about industrial collapse, and whether or not people want to believe we can either prevent or accelerate it, industrial collapse is already happening, and has been for quite some time. Perhaps the reason why it’s gone unnoticed is either due to denial, or because the rate at which it’s collapsing doesn’t resemble a single, crumbling tower that quickly turns into ash and smoke. That is because something as large and socially complex as industrial society doesn’t break down all at once, but instead decomposes at different points and at different times. It is commonly understood as collapse due to an acknowledgement that as the natural resources needed to sustain industrial society are depleted, the points of decomposition break down beyond repair.”
“I can imagine a couple possible reasons why industrial collapse doesn’t cross the minds of many. One reason could be the socialized mentality of immortality driven by human supremacist arrogance. There are many people today – including leftists – who continue to put faith in science and technology as the saviors of life, and as a primary response to ecological disasters. At the root of this unwaivering faith is a refusal to acknowledge how science and technology have re-defined life by securing human-centric control over the wild. Science and technology, regardless of their greening continue to be the alphabet of industrialization – expanding power and influence through a language of increased alienation and ecological extinction. From military empowerment through the expansive production of weapons of mass destruction, to the tireless gaze of increased State surveilance over the population, science and technology never sleep. And as industrialization continues to absorb what remains of the wild world, the relationship to wildness erodes on both an individual and societal level.”
Oblivion_Anarchy & the Collapse of Industrial Civilization pdf
Fuck Around and Find Out: An Obituary for Victimhood
“Here, I reflect on a specific memory that involves physical abuse and sexual assault…
…after years of accumulated anger and despair, something changed. The line between life and death blurred as I stood up holding a chair over my head and screamed incoherently at a man who, for years, used my body for both sexual assault and various forms of corporal punishment. This man, who was supposed to be my father figure, my role model, my trusted best friend, slowly backed away. Today was the day he lost all power and control over me. For the first time there was fear in HIS eyes instead of mine, and years of childhood mental and physical abuse would cease forever.
It wasn’t until I became aware of my own violent potential that I experienced freedom. Despite being much smaller and weaker, I was no longer afraid. A new confidence had consumed me – one that could never be inspired by the protection of my Family, Community, or the State. Even the threat of imprisonment couldn’t subdue this deranged exhilaration. I waited. I waited for him to try again. I watched him poison himself with the usual gin, brandy, and beer combination, waiting for his drunken wrath to return. But it never did. My abandonment of victimhood hadn’t gone unnoticed. Almost as if he could smell his own pool of blood from an impending ambush attack in the night. The future was written. He was lucky to still be alive – and seemingly had no intentions on taking that gamble.”
Fuck Around and Find Out_An Obituary for Victimhood pdf
Toward Terra Incognita: A Critical Look at Cultural Essentialism, Nationalism, and Body Policing
“I feel nationalism has escaped the grave long enough. With this text I seek to instigate and encourage an anti-authoritarian flame that once and for all sets fire to its anarcho-confused, stumbling corpse. I also encourage anarchists to question the notion of any said thing belonging exclusively to any said culture, to question the notion that every individual identifying with said culture claims to own it, and to question the authority of whoever it is making universal claims on behalf of others in the first place.
I say normalize dreadlocks across all racial categories; rebel against work – especially the type of work that seeks to conform us to beauty standards of marketing and production! I say dismantle white supremacy by making whiteness as insubordinate to colonial order as every black and brown youth who light up precincts like bonfires to freedom!
I propose an anarchy that moves beyond the politics of embracing assigned identity, toward de-territorializing one’s body and destroying identity-based occupation all together. At the intersection of anti-colonial and anti-authoritarian praxis is a nihilist critique of any and all cultural ownership of one’s body, becoming a dangerous space of terra incognita.”
Toward Terra Incognita_A Critical Look at Cultural Essentialism, Nationalism, and Body Policing pdf
The Match Consumed: A Condensed Reading of “Blessed is the Flame”
“A few months ago a comrade and I decided to take on the task of creating a condensed version of blessed is the flame. This was in response to a vast misunderstanding and fash-jacketing of those who post content on nihilist thought. This task turned out to be more difficult than we imagined. Condensing 50+ pages wasn’t easy, at times it felt wrong to even omit some of the passages/stories from the book. On a particular night of working on this project the question came up of whether or not this was a disservice to all people whose stories were told in the book. But we found solace in the ‘afterthoughts’. There will never be enough paper to document all the stories of those who were imprisoned in the camps. Many of them are still relatively unknown and majority of the ones that are ended in tragedy. Most of the prisoners who resisted were met with swift death. So knowing all the tragedy and suffering that happened how did this book become so important to us? Enough for us to spend months trying to compile a shorter read for people to have access to?
Blessed was our introduction to nihilist resistance. On a summer morning in the middle of the desert it became a sacred text to us. We poured over the pages red and reread each section – the stories lit a fire under us. When you pick this up it’s our hope that you may be consumed by that same fire.
“I find it comforting that everything is so hopeless”
-Tal & Skinny”
The Match Consumed_A Condensed Reading of Blessed is the Flame pdf
BREAKING RANKS: Subverting the Hierarchy & Manipulation Behind Earth Uprisings
“At this point, many anarchists in the US are already familiar with how tiqqunists destroyed the struggle at the Notre-Dame-des-Landes ZAD (Zone to Defend) occupation in France in favor of legalization and property ownership [1]. The narrative that this tragic conclusion to the decade-long struggle was actually a victory has been regurgitated ad nauseum by tiqqunist platforms in the US. For example, Ill Will Edition’s “The Strategy of Composition” is about applying this “strategy” to the struggle against Cop City: “The territorial phase of the struggle took shape gradually over a ten year period from 2008 until its eventual victory in 2018, and has since continued to nourish collective experiments on the Zone to this day”.
The next initiative of the ex-ZAD tiqqunists failed when those familiar with their methods of recuperation and authoritarianism sabotaged their attempts to take the vanguard of a ZAD located in Carnet. Comrades from the Carnet ZAD along with those from several other struggles co-authored a statement outlining the attempts at cooptation and centralization, which we included as an appendix in this zine as an inspiring example of anti-authoritarians making a struggle inhospitable to authoritarian power plays.
After this failed attempt at bringing autonomous and decentralized struggles under their control, the tiqqunists of the ex-ZAD moved on to their most recent initiative: Soulevements de la Terre (which translates to “Earth Uprisings”, aka SDT). Exploiting the momentum of groups like Extinction Rebellion, and the broader youth climate movement, SDT offers activists a militant alternative to civil disobedience: mass demo-actions against ecologically destructive targets. While these have included some notable acts of sabotage, it is important to notice that their actions are often just as limited to symbolic engagement as those of the non-violent environmentalists, designed to promote the organization through sensationalism aimed at capturing the attention of the mass media. A recent mass action against a water basin on March 25th resulted in serious injuries, prompting anarchists to more broadly articulate warnings about this organization’s political foundations and motivations. The authors of these texts are careful to critique the centralized forces behind SDT and not the participants, clarifying that they are not telling anyone to stop attending SDT actions, but rather encouraging them to maintain a critical eye towards how the actions are organized and what they are being asked to do.
Predictably, the two primary tiqqunist platforms in the US have championed Soulevements de la Terre: Ill Will Editions republishes their propaganda, and Inhabit does the same while proclaiming that their actions are “an exhilarating example of all that has gone well in the movement up until this point and chart a path forward we hope others can imagine walking themselves”. [2] The following three critiques from anti-authoritarians in France are therefore also relevant to our context. These texts focus on manipulative and vanguardist practices, the spectacularization of the struggle, and the use of radicals as shock-troops. The goal of these texts, and our translation effort, is to increase familiarity with these deceptive practices and strategies, an essential first step towards sabotaging the influence and control of any similar attempts in our own neck of the woods.”
BREAKING RANKS_Subverting the Hierarchy & Manipulation Behind Earth Uprisings pdf
