“Here, I reflect on a specific memory that involves physical abuse and sexual assault…
…after years of accumulated anger and despair, something changed. The line between life and death blurred as I stood up holding a chair over my head and screamed incoherently at a man who, for years, used my body for both sexual assault and various forms of corporal punishment. This man, who was supposed to be my father figure, my role model, my trusted best friend, slowly backed away. Today was the day he lost all power and control over me. For the first time there was fear in HIS eyes instead of mine, and years of childhood mental and physical abuse would cease forever.
It wasn’t until I became aware of my own violent potential that I experienced freedom. Despite being much smaller and weaker, I was no longer afraid. A new confidence had consumed me – one that could never be inspired by the protection of my Family, Community, or the State. Even the threat of imprisonment couldn’t subdue this deranged exhilaration. I waited. I waited for him to try again. I watched him poison himself with the usual gin, brandy, and beer combination, waiting for his drunken wrath to return. But it never did. My abandonment of victimhood hadn’t gone unnoticed. Almost as if he could smell his own pool of blood from an impending ambush attack in the night. The future was written. He was lucky to still be alive – and seemingly had no intentions on taking that gamble.”
Fuck Around and Find Out_An Obituary for Victimhood pdf
